Curtis Sittenfeld |
Days of Love...and Lack Thereof, Day 6
Days of Love...and Lack Thereof, Day 5
Major Pettigrew’s Last Stand may very well be the most romantic, in the best and purest sense of the word, book that you’ve read in years. This novel will take you by surprise; it will steal your heart. Unless of course you have a heart of stone like a woman I know, I won’t say her name but it rhymes with Liz Sullivan.
Brace yourself because you are going to fall a little bit in love with retired Major Ernest Pettigrew. [Says you.] I know, you never thought you could feel this way about an older man, especially one named Ernest. Call him Ernie if it helps because honey I am telling you it's done, you’re going to love him. [Nope. Not capable.] He is completely old school, he is very opinionated, and he is beyond modest in his lifestyle. He is the quintessential proper Englishman. [Like Christian Bale? Hmmm....] Pettigrew lives a quiet life in a picturesque village located in the English countryside, recently widowed and with a son who seems to have little time for his aging father. Pettigrew spends most of his time alone until the day when he meets a beautiful Pakistani shopkeeper from their village named Jasmina (also a widow). Both, still nursing the loss of a spouse, find that their love of literature and all things proper gives them comfort and unexpectedly puts them on a course of friendship and love.
Helen Simonson’s writing is flawless, and, while not stealing from classics, it certainly has the feel of being written long ago. I highly recommend Pettigrew for your book group or a romantic getaway…just you, a young masseuse, a barrel of wine, and Major Pettigrew. [Like Liz and Clive Owen. Mmmm....Clivey Poo....]
Days of Love...and Lack Thereof, Day 4
Amy Bloom |
Days of Love...and Lack Thereof, Day 3
Rita Mae Brown |
Oh Rita Mae Rita Mae...how you saved my sixteen year old ass with this book. Rubyfruit Jungle was Rita Mae Brown's "It Gets Better" message to me. Molly Bolt is adopted by a poor southern couple who aren't so keen on their unapologetic, smart ass, athletic daughter who also beats up boys. In high school, Molly dated a hot cheerleader and then was thrown out of college for terrible morals (oh but man oh man what a way to get kicked out). Molly eventually moves to New York and you know how it goes...it gets better. She dates many lovely ladies, pursues a film career and meets other 'mos along the way. Yeah, it go a lot better. Oh, and she never becomes a Yankees fan so this novel is safe to read.
Great gift for your obviously gay daughter. Just give in, Ellen is making everyone gay and there is nothing you can do about it.
Liz:
One of my all-time favorite writers is Joyce Carol Oates, and one of my all-time favorite books from the prolific Ms. Oates is We Were the Mulvaneys. Oates is known for exposing the American dream and its shortcomings, often violently. She is a dark writer, but she also writes with great emotion. Many of her books are contemporary masterpieces, most are also entertaining, and if there were any justice she'd win a Nobel Prize for her many contributions to the American literary canon. But let's talk about the Mulvaneys.
Joyce Carol Oates |
The novel is narrated by the adult youngest child, Judd, as he tries to piece together how his loving family disintegrated into lonely, lost souls. Marianne is sent away because her father can't overcome the horror of what happened to her. She takes her beloved cat, her only companion from the life she used to live. Throughout, she longs for the family she once knew even as she manages to find a sort of peace and resolution. The farm is gone, the Mulvaneys scattered, but once, once they were a family.
Days of Love...and Lack Thereof, Day 2
Liz:
Many authors are plumbing the horrors of suburbia in their fiction. Jonathan Franzen was featured on the cover of Time for his efforts on the subject. One of the best books on the subject, and one of the best reads of the 20th Century, is Richard Yates's Revolutionary Road. You know what's romantic? Reading this book (or watching the intense and unsettling movie starring Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio) while pregnant. No, I'm not and never have been pregnant, but I've heard it can mess with an expectant parent's head. I'm all in favor.
Revolutionary Road is the story of a couple in love, a couple with dreams of returning to Europe, of writing, of living Bohemian lives in the manner of the Lost Generation. And then Frank, the husband, discovers that he's not as apathetic about his office job as he thought. He and April, his wife, buy their house in the suburbs on Revolutionary Road and betray their dreams and each other. This novel is a masterpiece--if you like Mad Men I absolutely guarantee you'll like this book--and it's a chilling unraveling of a fairy tale relationship after April discovers she's pregnant.
Days of Love...And Lack Thereof, Day 1
Men are hard to find. I’ve been looking for a good man (a good enough man) for my pal Liz for over two years now. Yeah, men are hard to find. And then once you have them, you got to hold on to their asses! They are forever wanting to get out and about and when they are out of the house, how do you know where they are…or when they’re coming back? Hard to find, hard to keep, hard to keep track of, hard to live with, the list goes on. I’ve said it before, ladies--I have the solution: dudes in lockup. Easy to find, easy to keep, and you don’t have to worry about anyone missing the bowl…let that be his cellmate’s problem. As you can read here, my efforts on Liz’s behalf have been exhaustive, but she isn’t having it. [More exhausting than exhaustive.] You know who is having it though? Bridget Kinsella.
Bridget Kinsella |
I wanted to include Visiting Life on my list because it is filled with love stories from a sub culture that mostly goes unnoticed, but they are love stories nonetheless.
Introducing Love, Liz and Gianna Style
A Day in the Life of a Sales Rep
6:29 AM--Get up and check email. Look at the orders that came in yesterday.
6:35 AM--Tub time! I love my bath. A long soak is necessary to A) keep up with my reading, and B) avoid killing anyone during the day.
7:45 AM--Ponder schedule and debate wardrobe. End up in jeans and a t-shirt. Again. I class it up a bit in case Gianna calls; she usually asks if I'm wearing a bra. I don't like to lie.
Zorro likes to sleep in. |
8:05 AM--Check Twitter and Facebook. Retweet some stuff. Try to think of something witty and original. It's not happening.
8:10 AM--Check the blog stats. Wonder why people choose our blog to cure their insomnia. Decide they are probably all British. Hellooooo Brits!
8:12 AM--There are 305 messages in my inbox. Decide that's acceptable. Read a few. Delete and file others.
8: 34 AM--Look at calendar again. One appointment in the afternoon. Must prepare for appointment and flight tomorrow. Must prepare for week-long trip next week. Contemplate returning to the tub for another soak.
8:37 AM--iTunes shuffle plays "You'll Never Walk Alone." I realize that my life is sad. Zorro, by the way, is still in bed.
8:38 AM--Begin working on creating suggested orders in Edelweiss, the electronic catalog system Random House is adopting.
9:28 AM--Realize I haven't eaten breakfast. Lizzie needs her Diet Coke.
9:49 AM--Place the order I took at my appointment yesterday afternoon.
10:15 AM--Answer more emails.
10:30 AM--Book a presentation at a high school parents meeting in May.
10:55 AM--My progress on my Edelweiss orders is derailed by an account needing tracking on orders.
11:28 AM--Phone call from the boss. Zorro is still in bed.
11:30 AM--Place another order.
11:49 AM--More email, and finally returning to my Edelweiss catalogs.
I'm just like the real Dr. Laura, but without the racial slurs and misogyny! |
12:41 PM--Zorro emerges, eats, poops, waddles to his chair, goes to sleep.
1:14 PM--Lunch. Today it's peanut butter (no jelly) on toast, barbecue potato chips, Diet Coke. Zorro thinks that he wants peanut butter, claws me, then decides it's not chicken and goes back to sleep.
1:58 PM--Inbox is up to 349 items. I'm losing the battle.
2:03 PM--"Creep" is on iTunes. I'm so fucking special.
2:09 PM--And now "The Rainbow Connection" is playing on iTunes. It's also time to prepare for my meeting at 2:30.
3:56 PM--Finished with phone appointment. I haven't even started preparing for my trip tomorrow. Zorro has requisitioned my lap.
4:52 PM--Finish my fourth suggested order of the day on Edelweiss. 379 messages in my inbox.
5:47 PM--Computer system I need isn't working. I'm improvising...by inventing new profanities. Email count: 397.
Zorro...since 1:14 PM |
6:31 PM--Dinner. Talking Dr. Laura says, "Be the kind of person YOU'D like to come home to everyday." Maybe this is why I'm single.
6:49 PM--Oooh! Law & Order: SVU marathon. Back to work.
7:21 PM--Right. I was going to update the blog before the State of the Union. Talking Dr. Laura and I will be remarking upon the speech. She says, "What magic do you think is going to transform your life without your participation?" I take this to mean that I should start playing the lottery again.
7:43 PM--Posting blog. Back to work. The inventor of Excel should be shot.
Generally Horrible Questions: Charley Carroll
1. How did you get into the bookselling game?
When I walked into my first bookstore (ever!) and submitted an application at the ripe old age of 18. I started two days later. [So....high standards there? I (Liz) am just bitter because obviously Gianna thinks you're cooler than I am. Humph.]
2. What are your three desert island books?
a. Identifying and Harvesting Edible and Medicinal Plants
b. The Complete Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook
c. SAS Survival Handbook, Revised Edition: For Any Climate, in Any Situation
3. What are you currently reading?
The Autobiography of Mrs. Tom Thumb (thanks to Gianna’s top 10 list) and Buddhism: Plain and Simple
4. What is the best part of your job?
That would be my position on the Texas Book Festival author selection committee!
5. I’ve never seen (any) Star Wars movies and I am so ashamed…or am I? [That makes two of us that haven’t seen them, and let’s keep it that way - Gianna]
Charley and hunk. |
6. Percent of people who think you are a dude before they meet you?
94.7%…but only 52.1% admit it. [Odd, but those are the same exact percentages that think Gianna is a dude AFTER meeting her.]
7. Hottest author that you’ve ever met?
The guy on the cover of Kresley Cole’s newest book…he signed my book so I will consider him an author.
8. What book or books changed your life?
The Big-Ass Book of Crafts; The Big-Ass Book of Crafts 2 [I guess it took us up until this exact moment to really believe that cool people do craft…]
9. Liz or Gianna?
No, I have not read that book yet. Can you get me a free copy? [Gianna: it’s a picture book, and yes.] [Liz: Seriously? The answer is ALWAYS 'Liz.' Always.]
10. I wanted to be a rainbow when I grew up. [This answer gets you one ass beating from Gianna.]
11. Which author would you most want to land a book signing with?
Hunter S. Thompson (RIP) on his Hell’s Angels tour [This must have been after you realized you couldn’t be a rainbow.]
12. Book you are hand selling the most right now?
The book in my hand the most is The Hunger Games because people will NOT stop asking for it…I like to hand sell any Patrick Rothfuss books when I can.
Charley and her angels |
13. All time favorite book?
Really?! No. [Hmmm…guess you aren’t a sucker.]
14. Favorite book to movie?
The Bee Season
15. Charlie Chaplin, Charlie’s Angels, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Charlie Sheen or a Charlie Horse?
Me with my Angels: Brent Ridge and Josh Kilmer-Purcell [HOT!]
Book Group Picks to Kick Off 2012
Gianna's Picks:
Daniel é expulso do BBB12 por conduta grave inadequada
Daniel Gustavo Rodrigues, suspeito de estupro no BBB12, agora terá que se entender com a lei. Hoje a polícia foi ao Projac, depoimentos foram iniciados e o brother foi expulso do programa por Conduta Gravemente Inadequada. Em aúdio do depoimento da Monique que vazou na internet, a sister diz que capotou e que pouco se lembra do que aconteceu, mas nega enfaticamente que sexo não houve e que D
aniel precisa ser muito "mau caráter" para ter feito sexo com ela dormindo. "Só se ele fez comigo enquanto eu dormia. Mas aí ele seria muito mau caráter" (sic Monique).
Segundo as imagens em vídeo vistas pelas pessoas que assistem o BBB 24 horas no pay-per-view comenta-se que há movimento dos quadris de Daniel enquanto Monique está totalmente desacordada. Agora o caso está com a polícia.
ENTENDA A LEI CONTRA O ESTUPRO
No ano de 2009 o governo Lula sancionou a lei 12.015, que altera as leis 2.848 (Código Penal) e 8.072 (que trata dos crimes hediondos). Ela tornou mais severas as penas para os crimes de pedofilia, estupro seguido de morte e assédio sexual contra menores.
O autor do estupro pode pegar entre seis e dez anos de pena com prisão. A nova lei amplia a aplicação da pena para os casos que, na lei anterior, eram tratados apenas como atos libidinosos. O artigo 215 da lei diz que é estupro "ter conjunção carnal ou praticar outro ato libidinoso com alguém, mediante fraude ou outro meio que impeça ou dificulte a livre manifestação de vontade da vítima".
DEPOIMENTOS À POLÍCIA
Daniel deve prestar depoimento à polícia ainda na noite desta segunda-feira (16). Monique, como ainda permanece na casa, deve passar pelo interrogatório da polícia nesta terça-feira (17) no Projac.
A sister deve ser submetida a um exame de corpo de delito, que pode comprovar se houve o crime de estupro. Ele, porém, lembra que ela não é obrigada a fazer o exame.
A ministra da Secretaria de Políticas para as Mulheres, Iriny Lopes, encaminhou nesta segunda-feira (16) um ofício ao Ministério Público Estadual do Rio de Janeiro pedindo “providências” contra a denúncia do suposto estupro no Big Brother Brasil 12.
Generally Horrible Questions: Dan Chaon
Dan Chaon |
Generally Horrible Questions: Dan Chaon
1. What author or book should we all be reading?
Lint by Chris Ware. Most mind-blowing book of 2011, hands down.
2. What book have you re-read more than any other?
Probably The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson, closely followed by Lolita by Vladamir Nabokov and The Hobbit by JRR Tolkien (though I haven’t actually read The Hobbit in about 30 years. Maybe now that the movie is coming out I should revisit it?)
3. Favorite three bands?
4. I have never read ________ and I am so ashamed
Remembrance of Things Past, by Marcel Proust. (I’ve read the famous Madeline passage, but nothing else.)
5. What do you tell your writing students to never do, but sometimes do yourself?
The great Borges... not a spring chicken even in 1951, when this was taken. |
6. Gianna or Liz?
There’s no way to answer this question. It’s like “Cake or Ice Cream?” [Our two favorite food groups! We also assume Liz is the ice cream due to her cold nature. Also, Liz is always the correct answer.]
7. Coolest writer you’ve ever met?
Jorge Luis Borges [We are incredibly impressed. Of course, we can't call him to verify....]
8. I have read ____ and I am so ashamed
Dude, all things must end, but we're sorry for blowing it. |
9. Your last name is pronounced “Shawn” which made us wonder who your favorite Shawn is. Sean Penn, Sean Combs, Shawn Carter (Jay Z to the unhip), Sean Connery, Shawn Colvin, Shawn who sat next to Liz is high school calculus, or Shaun of the Dead?
Gianna's favorite book of 2010. |
By the way, if you do a Twitter search for “Chaon” you will find that it is an Urban Dictionary type slang word. People say that something is “off the chaon!” And that means that it is cool and funky. Right on! [We think this is going to take off way beyond Twitter, for chaon.]
10. Can you name five things creepier than twins (Liz is a twin, so think creepier)?
a. Rick Perry;
b. vegetable drawer full of forgotten potatoes that have begun to sprout tiny human eyes and fingers;
c. The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, esp. Taylor; [This makes us worry for our Dan that he can name a wife…worry and love that is.]
d. the corpse of your dead grandma, somehow animated, somehow alive, rotting and crouched in your closet, a sick smell that wafts over you when you are sleeping and then you open your eyes in the dark and you can hear her breathing, wetly chewing on something with her toothless mouth, and you try to convince yourself: Grandma loved me. Grandma wouldn’t hurt me. This is not real.
e. That awful thing that is constantly staring at the back of your head but when you turn around it’s not visible.
11. What's the strangest or most awkward thing to happen to you on book tour (bonus points if you admit it was meeting Gianna and Liz)?
I don’t remember anything awkward happening when we met, Gianna and Liz. I thought we had a nice time together. Didn’t we? [Clearly Dan didn’t notice Gianna nearly going in for a kiss.]
Look for Dan's newest story collection in stores in February. |
Not that this has happened to me, mind you. There are always crowds upon crowds at my bookstore appearances.
12. Liz and I are starting a band; can you suggest a few names?
Cocoa Ono
Craniopagus Parasiticus!
Mamas Who Let Their Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys
The Uncircumcised Girls [Clear winner…Dan must have a real sense of what our band will be like.]
Thanks Dan! You're the chaon!