Generally Horrible Questions: Sara Glassman

Sara Glassman

(Liz) I called on independent bookstores in Alabama for about a year before my territory shifted westward. Alabama too often has to overcome the "South is scary" stereotyping--squeal like a pig, Forrest Gump, the KKK, and more recently this guy, Tim James the Xenophobe, who was running for governor.  I want to be clear that I never had that sort of experience in Alabama, and I enjoyed going to Birmingham in particular.  Birmingham has a giant statue of Vulcan, quality restaurants and attractions, hills, and cultural diversity.  Yes, Alabama has a legacy of racial intolerance, but it's also the home of the civil rights movement.  Birmingham was a part of that past, but it's also a city with a distinctly urban feel.  And it has bookstores.

Little Professor Book Center.
I ALWAYS tripped on that
spiral staircase.  Always.

Birmingham is the corporate headquarters of Books-A-Million, but I was there to sell books to the independent bookstores, including Little Professor Book Center.  There are stores you walk into and the employees are clerks, and there are stores where the employees are booksellers.  Sara Glassman of Little Professor is a bookseller.  She wants to talk books, she wants to tell you how much she loves books, and, well, she isn't afraid to mock the bad ones.  The store's buyer also is her significant other, and Sara's certainly not afraid to give him a hard time.  Of course I was all in favor of that.  So here you go--generally horrible questions for avid book lover, crafter, and woman who gets the joke, Sara Glassman.  Enjoy.

Generally Horrible Questions: Sara Glassman

1. How did you get in the book business?
I was always a big reader and Little Professor was the bookstore I used the most when I was in high school. When I moved to Birmingham it was the first job I applied for here. Paul (the owner) gave me the job on the spot and I've been working here ever since. [So you're saying that you were a loiterer and it was either call the cops or put you to work.  Got it.]

2. What’s your favorite thing about Little Professor?
All the power they give me. Mwahahahaha. Um... Wait. I didn't mean that. I meant hand selling. I love talking to people about a book and convincing them to buy it. Then if they come back and tell me if they liked it or not, that makes it better! [And the power, right?]

3. Make fun of Drew’s (in)ability to buy romance novels. And feel free to take pictures of him wearing a kilt since no one reads this blog. [Drew is Sara's significant other and the store's buyer.  Sometimes buyers have to order books about which they are clueless.  Drew has a "gift" when it comes to romance.]
Sadly, there are no pictures of Drew in a kilt. He thinks they're stupid Scottish propaganda. Actually, he, being Irish, has a huge problem with romance novels. It's always Scottish men getting the girls and if there are any Irish guys they're usually villains. Or drunk. Or drunk villains.

But his strategy for buying romance novels is this: He'll buy anything with a Viking, a kilt, or a title on the cover. So, the Viking duke displayed in a kilt would be his idea of the perfect romance novel for the store. We've taken bets on this. Viking Heat from Berkley Sensation was a book he bought against my recommendation. We had a $20 bet that it wouldn't sell in 6 months. He cheated and got one of our coworkers to buy it. [See, we could add snarky comments about this answer, but it's already both hilarious and sad.  We're sending the hate mail from the Scottish propagandists your way, though.]

 4. Have you ever posed for pictures with the Vulcan statue in Birmingham? How much would we have to pay you to make this happen?
I haven't posed for pictures, but I have knitted a scarf that is more than 4 times the height of Vulcan (including base). I'm special like that. As for payment to get a photo... get me a signed Nick Harkaway anything and I'll get you as many pictures as you want. [...Where the hell would you wear a scarf that long? We secretly think you just learned to cast off yet and so just kept knitting.  We love Nick Harkaway too.]

5. I’ve never read _____________________ and I’m so ashamed.
Hmm, there are tons of "great classics" that I've never read, but I don't actually feel that bad about it. I guess the thing that causes the most consternation when I tell people I haven't read it is The Hunger Games. [At some point Liz will lose it and turn this blog into a site entirely dedicated to what is wrong with adults reading children's and young adult books. High five for this answer.  Gianna: Um...we're supposed to be encouraging reading here?  Liz: No one reads this blog.  Gianna: Oh, right.  Rant away, my elitist snob pal.]

Fifty Shades fans,
wanna read something
REALLY dirty?

6. I’ve read ___________________ and I’m so ashamed.
I'm not really ashamed of anything I've read. I'm sometimes very very regretful that I wasted my time, but I'll own up to anything. Probably the most scandalous thing I've ever read was the Sleeping Beauty porn that Anne Rice wrote. I was waaaaaaaaaaaay too young to be reading that stuff and didn't have any idea what I was getting into with the first book. But after that I had to know how far she'd take it. Let me tell you, the Fifty Shades fans have no idea how far it can go. [You got that right.]

7. Liz or Gianna?
Always Liz! As a side note, we miss you!!!! [Excellent answer.]

8. What book(s) changed your life?
This one is difficult. On one level, I don't know that any book has absolutely changed my life. On the other side of things, I've read books that have become huge parts of my life in other ways. I read Robert Heinlein and became obsessed with him. Patient Zero by Jonathan Maberry is probably the book that has had the most roundabout influence on my life. I read it and loved it. Then I contacted the author to do an interview for the LP website. He was very cordial and I decided to go to DragonCon (a huge sci-fi convention in Atlanta) because he was going to be there. Flash forward a couple of years and a few more DragonCons and I'm now one of the artists in this year's art show. So that's kind of awesome.

9. What’s the strangest question you’ve ever been asked by a customer?
"Do you have Shakespeare in English?" is probably my favorite. Although, "Can we borrow these or do we have to buy them?" is another good one.

10. What are you reading now?
An interesting question. I'm reading I Don't Want to Kill You by Dan Wells in hardcopy, The Cat Who Went Up a Creek by Lillian Jackson Braun on my phone, and I'm listening to An Unmarked Grave by Jacqueline Winspear on my iPod. [You get multi-tasking bonus points if you're doing all three at the same time.]

11. Alabama or Auburn? (There is a correct answer to this question, that’s related to the school Liz’s grandfather attended.)
In so much as this question usually applies to sports and I don't care about sports, neither. However, in that I hold a degree from one of them as does my mother, and both my maternal grandparents - Alabama. [The correct answer is Auburn.  Sorry.]

A fat cat, a naughty read, and red sheets.
Sorry Sara, we already have a fat cat
lounging in our blog boudoir.

12. Have you read Fifty Shades of Grey? If not, how much are you willing to pay Gianna not to read it to you?
I haven't. And I'm willing to pay at the very least everything in Drew's wallet to avoid Gianna reading it to me. If that's not enough, I've got a sizable cat I could throw in to sweeten the deal. 22lbs of fuzzy, purry, Fifty Shades avoiding feline... that's got to be worth something right? [Gianna: Wait--how much is in Drew's wallet?  I'm getting out my copy right now....]

Generally Horrible Questions: Karen Hayes

Our pal Karen Hayes (left) and her business partner,
author Ann Patchett.

Karen Hayes is the slightly less famous co-owner of the new bookstore in Nashville, Parnassus Books.  (The other owner is some author named Ann Patchett.)  Karen has long been involved in the book business and worked with us at Random House, but she's new to the other side of bookselling--the part where you run the bookstore and help the customers.  Since Karen is a woman business owner and we're saluting the dames for the rest of March, we asked her to answer our questions.

Generally Horrible Questions: Karen Hayes

1. We are pretty sure the following musicians/singers have some connection to Nashville…pick your favorite (we think we know who you will pick it rhymes with Hiley Byrus). Black Keys, Johnny Cash, Steve Earle, Emmylou Harris, Ke$ha, Dolly Parton, Miley Cyrus, Dwight Yoakam, Jack White, Earl Scruggs, Taylor Swift or… Donna Summer?

It is so hard to choose!  I guess it would have to be Ke$ha, cause you know I’m all about the $.  That’s why I’m in the book biz.  [Finally someone comes clean about all the money floating around the book business!  Apparently it's all in Tennessee....road trip!]

A busy day at Parnassus Books

2. Your business partner is Ann Patchett, so you sure as hell better have read all her books. What’s your favorite? It’s okay, she doesn’t read this blog…be honest.

Thank god she won’t be reading this, because I haven’t, as of yet, read all her books.  Please don’t tell her.  I love State of Wonder (and no, it is not the only one of hers I’ve read).  [Gianna has read nearly all her books and Truth and Beauty is her favorite. Liz's favorite is Bel Canto...not that anyone asked.]

3. As you may know, Liz and I are starting a band which Dan Chaon has named The Uncircumcised Girls. We want to debut in Nashville. What is the coolest venue in town?

Parnassus.  We can set you up.  But you must bring Dan Chaon with you. [Of course he will come with…he’s our roadie!]

A brownie troop visiting the store.

4. We are looking for that book…it was on TV last week (I can’t remember what show)…it’s about a woman who might be sad…it’s blue, oh, and “The” is in the title. Can you find us that book?  No, but I will try. [Oh yea..its about 300 pages long, that should help.]

5. Who is your favorite person you ever got to train at Random House? Gianna, of course 

6. Author you most want to sign in your store? Is it Stephen Colbert? Because we think Ann nailed that down when she was on his show.  He would be the one.  That would be so much fun.

7. Gianna or Liz?  Liz, of course. [Obviously.]

8. I’ve never read _________________ and I’m so ashamed.  There are way too many to choose from, including the aforementioned books by Ann Patchett.  [We are starting to think that Karen hasn’t read ANY Ann Patchett books and she is desperate to cover her tracks….]

9. What book(s) changed your life?  There are many books that have altered my perceptions, but the only book I can say that truly has changed my life would be State of Wonder.  The change came, not through the reading of the book, but through the timing of the publication.  Ann’s tour for the book gave her the platform to talk about the store (and independent bookstores in general).  I’m sure the store would have been a successful local bookstore if Ann had been in between books, but it would never have gotten such national attention.

10. How’d you end up owning a bookstore with Ann Patchett?  When/where did you first meet her?  We had met very briefly earlier, but the first time we really talked was April last year.  I sat down to lunch with her and a mutual friend of ours to present an idea I had to get a bookstore coop started.  I was hoping that she would join with some other friends and interested parties to help with the fundraising.  She said she was not too fond of committees and that maybe we should just do the whole thing ourselves.  I said alright. [Committees are awesome! They are simply the best way to not get things done.]

11. In honor of Women’s History Month, who’s your favorite ballsy dame?  I think you could probably guess who it is.  Hint, she is the only person I’ve seen stop Colbert in his tracks twice in one interview. [It's obvious you’re talking about Bill O’Reilly and we think YOU'RE ballsy for calling him a dame.]

12. What are you currently reading?  The Hunger Games.  My book group is reading it. [...Never heard of it.]  What upcoming book has you giddy with excitement?  I’m excited about The Unexpected Guests which has the best handle of the year from my Harper Rep, Kate McCune…Downton Abbey meets Edward Gorey.  [Dammit Karen! Would it kill you to at least once mention a Random House book, or god forbid a UT Press book? You're lucky our bosses don’t read this blog!]

The Colbert Report
Get More: Colbert Report Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,Video Archive