Generally Horrible Questions: Sara Glassman

Sara Glassman

(Liz) I called on independent bookstores in Alabama for about a year before my territory shifted westward. Alabama too often has to overcome the "South is scary" stereotyping--squeal like a pig, Forrest Gump, the KKK, and more recently this guy, Tim James the Xenophobe, who was running for governor.  I want to be clear that I never had that sort of experience in Alabama, and I enjoyed going to Birmingham in particular.  Birmingham has a giant statue of Vulcan, quality restaurants and attractions, hills, and cultural diversity.  Yes, Alabama has a legacy of racial intolerance, but it's also the home of the civil rights movement.  Birmingham was a part of that past, but it's also a city with a distinctly urban feel.  And it has bookstores.

Little Professor Book Center.
I ALWAYS tripped on that
spiral staircase.  Always.

Birmingham is the corporate headquarters of Books-A-Million, but I was there to sell books to the independent bookstores, including Little Professor Book Center.  There are stores you walk into and the employees are clerks, and there are stores where the employees are booksellers.  Sara Glassman of Little Professor is a bookseller.  She wants to talk books, she wants to tell you how much she loves books, and, well, she isn't afraid to mock the bad ones.  The store's buyer also is her significant other, and Sara's certainly not afraid to give him a hard time.  Of course I was all in favor of that.  So here you go--generally horrible questions for avid book lover, crafter, and woman who gets the joke, Sara Glassman.  Enjoy.

Generally Horrible Questions: Sara Glassman

1. How did you get in the book business?
I was always a big reader and Little Professor was the bookstore I used the most when I was in high school. When I moved to Birmingham it was the first job I applied for here. Paul (the owner) gave me the job on the spot and I've been working here ever since. [So you're saying that you were a loiterer and it was either call the cops or put you to work.  Got it.]

2. What’s your favorite thing about Little Professor?
All the power they give me. Mwahahahaha. Um... Wait. I didn't mean that. I meant hand selling. I love talking to people about a book and convincing them to buy it. Then if they come back and tell me if they liked it or not, that makes it better! [And the power, right?]

3. Make fun of Drew’s (in)ability to buy romance novels. And feel free to take pictures of him wearing a kilt since no one reads this blog. [Drew is Sara's significant other and the store's buyer.  Sometimes buyers have to order books about which they are clueless.  Drew has a "gift" when it comes to romance.]
Sadly, there are no pictures of Drew in a kilt. He thinks they're stupid Scottish propaganda. Actually, he, being Irish, has a huge problem with romance novels. It's always Scottish men getting the girls and if there are any Irish guys they're usually villains. Or drunk. Or drunk villains.

But his strategy for buying romance novels is this: He'll buy anything with a Viking, a kilt, or a title on the cover. So, the Viking duke displayed in a kilt would be his idea of the perfect romance novel for the store. We've taken bets on this. Viking Heat from Berkley Sensation was a book he bought against my recommendation. We had a $20 bet that it wouldn't sell in 6 months. He cheated and got one of our coworkers to buy it. [See, we could add snarky comments about this answer, but it's already both hilarious and sad.  We're sending the hate mail from the Scottish propagandists your way, though.]

 4. Have you ever posed for pictures with the Vulcan statue in Birmingham? How much would we have to pay you to make this happen?
I haven't posed for pictures, but I have knitted a scarf that is more than 4 times the height of Vulcan (including base). I'm special like that. As for payment to get a photo... get me a signed Nick Harkaway anything and I'll get you as many pictures as you want. [...Where the hell would you wear a scarf that long? We secretly think you just learned to cast off yet and so just kept knitting.  We love Nick Harkaway too.]

5. I’ve never read _____________________ and I’m so ashamed.
Hmm, there are tons of "great classics" that I've never read, but I don't actually feel that bad about it. I guess the thing that causes the most consternation when I tell people I haven't read it is The Hunger Games. [At some point Liz will lose it and turn this blog into a site entirely dedicated to what is wrong with adults reading children's and young adult books. High five for this answer.  Gianna: Um...we're supposed to be encouraging reading here?  Liz: No one reads this blog.  Gianna: Oh, right.  Rant away, my elitist snob pal.]

Fifty Shades fans,
wanna read something
REALLY dirty?

6. I’ve read ___________________ and I’m so ashamed.
I'm not really ashamed of anything I've read. I'm sometimes very very regretful that I wasted my time, but I'll own up to anything. Probably the most scandalous thing I've ever read was the Sleeping Beauty porn that Anne Rice wrote. I was waaaaaaaaaaaay too young to be reading that stuff and didn't have any idea what I was getting into with the first book. But after that I had to know how far she'd take it. Let me tell you, the Fifty Shades fans have no idea how far it can go. [You got that right.]

7. Liz or Gianna?
Always Liz! As a side note, we miss you!!!! [Excellent answer.]

8. What book(s) changed your life?
This one is difficult. On one level, I don't know that any book has absolutely changed my life. On the other side of things, I've read books that have become huge parts of my life in other ways. I read Robert Heinlein and became obsessed with him. Patient Zero by Jonathan Maberry is probably the book that has had the most roundabout influence on my life. I read it and loved it. Then I contacted the author to do an interview for the LP website. He was very cordial and I decided to go to DragonCon (a huge sci-fi convention in Atlanta) because he was going to be there. Flash forward a couple of years and a few more DragonCons and I'm now one of the artists in this year's art show. So that's kind of awesome.

9. What’s the strangest question you’ve ever been asked by a customer?
"Do you have Shakespeare in English?" is probably my favorite. Although, "Can we borrow these or do we have to buy them?" is another good one.

10. What are you reading now?
An interesting question. I'm reading I Don't Want to Kill You by Dan Wells in hardcopy, The Cat Who Went Up a Creek by Lillian Jackson Braun on my phone, and I'm listening to An Unmarked Grave by Jacqueline Winspear on my iPod. [You get multi-tasking bonus points if you're doing all three at the same time.]

11. Alabama or Auburn? (There is a correct answer to this question, that’s related to the school Liz’s grandfather attended.)
In so much as this question usually applies to sports and I don't care about sports, neither. However, in that I hold a degree from one of them as does my mother, and both my maternal grandparents - Alabama. [The correct answer is Auburn.  Sorry.]

A fat cat, a naughty read, and red sheets.
Sorry Sara, we already have a fat cat
lounging in our blog boudoir.

12. Have you read Fifty Shades of Grey? If not, how much are you willing to pay Gianna not to read it to you?
I haven't. And I'm willing to pay at the very least everything in Drew's wallet to avoid Gianna reading it to me. If that's not enough, I've got a sizable cat I could throw in to sweeten the deal. 22lbs of fuzzy, purry, Fifty Shades avoiding feline... that's got to be worth something right? [Gianna: Wait--how much is in Drew's wallet?  I'm getting out my copy right now....]

Generally Horrible Questions: Kathryn Harrison

For anyone who's bothered to read more than one post on our little blog here, it should come as no surprise that we're both huge fans of Kathryn Harrison's writing.  Her book The Kiss helped to define the contemporary confessional memoir and established Harrison is one of the premier writers at work today.  With her new novel Enchantments, we took the opportunity to reach out to Harrison and she obliged us with an interview.  Enchantments tells the story of Rasputin's children, who go to live with the Tsar's family after their father is murdered.  The Tsarina Alexandra hopes that they possess some of the healing powers of the Mad Monk in helping her son Alexei--nicknamed Aloysha--cope with his hemophilia.  Though the girls aren't mystics, Marina (nicknamed Masha), the older of the girls, becomes the friend and confidante of Aloysha and tells him stories to distract him from the pain of his disorder and the uncertainty of survival during the Russian Revolution. We asked Harrison about books, Russian history, Rasputin, and her works.  If you like smart, talented writers, you should be reading Kathryn Harrison.

Generally Horrible Questions: Kathryn Harrison

1. What's the latest book you’ve read that you just can’t stop talking about?

I’m working on a biography of Joan of Arc, so all the books I’ve been reading for the past year have pertained to her, or to her time and place. I’m surrounded by stacks of them: translations of the transcripts of the trials that sent her to the stake and posthumously reversed the guilty sentence; interpretations of what it means to hear and see angels; history books like Huizinga’s The Waning of the Middle Ages; cultural anthropologies such as Clothes Make the Man: Female Cross Dressing in Medieval Europe by V. R. Hotchkiss; old standards on religion & mysticism—Frazier’s The Golden Bough, Wm James’ Varieties of Religious Experience, Jung’s The Archetypes and the Collective Unconscious by …. books that fascinate me but that I wouldn’t necessarily recommend to another reader. [On the contrary, this is a reading list that would make a terrific syllabus for a college course--one we'd like to take.]

2. Your historical novels are incredibly rich in detail. Is it true that The Seal Wife, The Binding Chair, and even Enchantments are in some way tied to your grandparents?

Yes, I was lucky to have been raised by grandparents whose very different early lives unfolded in exotic places. I can’t remember a time when I didn’t know stories my grandparents told me, stories that will inform my writing forever. It began when I was very young, at bedtime, in the dark, when I was falling asleep, that liminal time, consciousness slipping toward the fantastic, toward dreams. And as an only child, who spent a great deal of time alone, I entered those landscapes when I was awake and daydreaming, there were no other children to distract me, to pull me back into the present world.

3. The Kiss was recently re-issued by Random House. Originally published in 1997, how do you imagine it would be received and reviewed if it were to just be released in 2012?
I think it would play out the same way again: different journalists, reviewers, but the same basic response. What’s different now?

I remember bumping into Molly Haskell about a month into the original publication, and when she asked how I was doing I admitted I felt bewildered by the whole fracas, and that I’d imagined the quality of the writing would have protected me from critics anyway. She just laughed and said, That’s the very thing that’s making them angry—because it’s too well written. It’s a book they’d like to dismiss, but they can’t.

I hadn’t understood that—I’d worked to make it true, but I didn’t see the price of succeeding: anger. Not from everyone of course. It was strange, as a writer, to be told it was a topic that wasn’t for literature. Not for a writer like me to own.

I think it would still be a book they couldn’t dismiss. It would still make people angry. I hope it would. 

4. I’ve read _______ and I am so ashamed?
There is no book I’m ashamed to have read.   

5. I have never read ________ and I am so ashamed?
There is no book I am ashamed not to have read. A few I wish I could read in the original language. Especially Japanese novels.

6. Which of your books would make the best movie?
Exposure has been optioned, over and over, and there has been interest in The Seal Wife. Those two strike me as more easily translated into film.

Directors have asked about rights to The Kiss ever since it was published, but I never considered selling that book. Too easy to sensationalize, to destroy the control I exerted over the subject.

7. What book or author would you recommend for the first-time reader of Russian History?

Father Grigory Rasputin

Off the top of my head? Maybe Hoskings’ Russia and the Russians. There’s so much Russian History. One could start closer to our own time, with Pipes’ Concise History of the Russian Revolution. It might be more fun to read Massie’s biographies of Romanov Rulers; he sets the context so well that it’s a form of reading history.

8. Where you able to find or read any of Marina Rasputin’s memoirs?
All of them. Dreadful. Whitewashed portraits of her father. But who could blame her?  

9. The character of Masha in Enchantments is a Russian version of Scheherazade. Which of her stories to the hemophiliac prince Aloysha is your favorite?
Perhaps the courtship of his parents—Alexandra’s cloud. And I had fun with the coronation, the chance to transform an outright disaster/tragedy into a spectacle different from the historical one. In terms of the life she was trying to eclipse, I felt the tsar’s cutting down the trees in the way that he did was one of the more successful metaphors. I felt satisfied (well, almost) with that scene.  

Rasputin's daughter is the woman with the crop.

10. Rasputin’s daughter lived an incredible life before and after the revolution. She was a cabaret dancer, a lion tamer who travelled with the Ringling Bros Circus, and even survived a bear attack in Peru. Do people live those kinds of lives anymore? Can we blame cable television…please?
I’m happy to blame television for many things, but I don’t think it can kill the imagination, or the spirit, of adventurers. Or even of discriminating viewers. The particulars might change—circuses not being what they used to be, for example—but there will always be extraordinary lives. (And there is great cable TV. A couple of my favorites: Six Feet Under, Twin Peaks—better than most movies.) [If not for Twin Peaks Liz wouldn't talk to logs....]

11. Liz or Gianna?
I have to go with Gianna because she’s not as tall. [Hath not a giantess eyes? Hath not a giantess hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions? Fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases, healed by the same means, warmed and cooled by the same winter and summer, as a shrimpy one is? If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge? ...And beside, the correct answer is always Liz.]

12. Perhaps we are mistaken, but is this the first time you’ve ventured into the realm of magical realism?
I think so, yes. Although I can point to antecedents in Poison.

13. Worst job you’ve ever had?
At seventeen, in a nursing home, as glorified candy-striper. Drastically depressing.

The Romanov Family

14. Do you think there’s a version of a contemporary Rasputin influencing a country’s leader today in the way that the mad monk impacted Romanov Russia?
Probably, but I don’t know who. [We nominate Gianna for this role.  She would make a great womanizing, prophetic, cult leader--fully worthy of assassination.]

15. Favorite of the “Golden Era” of Russian literature: Dostoyevsky, Tolstoy, Gogol, Pushkin, Bulgakov, or Chekhov?
I return to Bulgakov’s The Master and Margarita more often than to any one book by the others, but I do love Gogol and Dostoyevsky. Tolstoy is a bit too rational for my taste—I prefer the feverish, and the playful, and the impossible. [And we love giant, talking, devil cats!]

Generally Horrible Questions: Katie Adams

The giant beer is a dead giveaway that this woman
is an editor....

I met Katie a few years ago, when Other Press became a distribution client for Random House (which means that the RH sales force handles the rep duties and our warehouse ships the books) and Katie attended sales conference.  I find the Other Press list of titles and staff invigorating--new voices, fresh perspectives, and a lot of energy make them a joy to represent.  Katie is one of those people who starts talking about the book she's working on and her enthusiasm is contagious; because of this infectious joy I'm willing to overlook that she roots for the Red Sox and has never made me brownies.  She doesn't know that she's supposed to make me brownies, mind you, but why should I have to state my needs so explicitly?  She reads this blog (She's our fan! Possibly the only one remaining!).  She knows I'm not right in the head.  Anyway, in the last year Katie left Other Press to accept a job with Liveright, a newly re-formed division of Norton, but in spite of her abandonment she was still good enough to answer our horrible questions.  She's our first editor....she might have been drunk when she agreed.

Generally Horrible Questions: Katie Adams

1. How’d you become an editor? Tell us your life story.
The long story is a boring one: lifelong reader, naturally bossy, etc. But the crucial lucky break came when I was a senior at Columbia. I was taking a graduate seminar on Dickens, and one of the grad students asked me about my plans after graduation. I murmured vague thoughts about publishing, and she said, “Oh, I used to be an editorial assistant at FSG, give them my name and get an internship there during your final semester.” At the time I’d never even heard of FSG (Farrar, Straus & Giroux, one of the absolute best houses in the business, as I quickly learned), but after a few days of typing out permissions forms for Robert Lowell poems and photocopying Michael Cunningham’s new novel, I was hooked. [For those keeping track, Katie has mentioned Columbia University, graduate seminars, Dickens, FSG, and Robert Lowell.  We love a woman who embraces her nerdiness so openly.]

What book do you point to with pride and think “I worked on that?”
Well, I’ve been so lucky – I’m proud of all the books I’ve had a hand in, whether as an editorial assistant, desk editor, or acquiring editor. But my first real pinch-me moment was probably when Claire Messud wrote a glowing full-page of Mrs. Woolf and the Servants, my first acquisition, in the New York Times. An intellectual endorsement from Messud (a genius) about a book on Virginia Woolf (possibly the greatest English writer since Shakespeare): “an absorbing and complex portrait of Woolf’s particular relation to domestics and domesticity.” Heaven. [Here's the problem--there's too much we like about this statement to mock it.  Virginia Woolf?  LOVE.  Claire Messud?  LOVE (and she has a new novel coming next spring!).  Katie's really short.  We're also starting a rumor that she has six toes on her left foot.  Spread the word.]

What are the best and worst moments in your editorial career?
The absolute worst (so far) was probably when I was an editorial assistant. I sent a deal memo, which contains all of the nitty gritty – and might I add, confidential – details about an author’s book deal, to the wrong person. I meant to send it to the foreign publisher with whom we’d done the deal, but instead I sent it to a fierce literary agent with the same first name, who must have thought she could do even better by the author, because she later picked him up as a client! That was a lay-face-down-on-the-office-floor moment. But really one of the hardest parts of the job is the books that get away, for whatever reason, and then it’s death by a thousand cuts as they come out to rave reviews. ["The books that get away"--is this code for Fifty Shades of Grey?]

Bests, I’ve had a few. Michael Crummey is one of my favorite authors, and when I found out that he hadn’t read Moby Dick (the horror – his latest book features a whale for God’s sake!) I immediately rushed him a copy. Not only did he love it, he wrote a beautiful essay  about reading it. I felt I’d given a little something back to him after his book had given me so much. But there are smaller moments as well. Just last week an author from my last job emailed to say that his daughter had been accepted to her first choice college. I love these personal tidbits I get as the relationship deepens, and I was so thrilled for this proud papa. [Zorro pooped in his litter box for the first time in four years last week!  Send me brownies!]

Any author gossip that you’re willing to reveal? Don’t worry—no one reads this blog.
Ha! If there’s one thing I know about authors, it’s that they find any and every mention of themselves online. [Exactly!  We need the hits from people other than the ones searching Google for free porn!  Tell tales!  Make stuff up.  We certainly do.  Gianna and E.L. James are the same person.]

As a Red Sox fan, describe in detail how much you hate the Yankees. Feel free to rationalize the designated hitter rule for us too; we’re National League fans.
The Yankees are the guy at the bar who hits on you so loudly and so publicly that you can’t tell if he’s actually serious. His ego is performance art. Depending on your answer, he’ll either perform the swaggering jerk that gets the girl, or he’ll perform the impervious couldn’t-care-less reject, but regardless it will be ALL ABOUT HIM. That’s the Yankees. [We were just going to say that they're assholes.]

As an impartial sports fan of New England descent, Astros or Cubs?
I used to empathize with the Cubs, but now I’m kinda mad at Theo Epstein [former Red Sox GM who is now the Cubs GM], plus the Astros no longer suffer under the curse of Roger Clemens, so…Astros. [And Liz's love for Katie lives on....]

What book(s) made you squeal with delight and led you into the dark world of publishing?

The true first would have to be Mickey Mouse’s Picnic, which my sainted mother read to me thousands upon thousands of times. Then it’s a straight line through Where the Red Fern Grows, Mrs. Mike, The Thorn Birds, Persuasion, To the Lighthouse, Bartleby the Scrivener, One Hundred Years of Solitude, The Hours, Olive Kitteridge. Or so I say today. [First, Mickey Mouse is the evil overlord that has oppressed the maligned Donald Duck for decades.  Liz is quite serious about this topic.  Curse you for your duck bigotry.  The other books on your list, though, make us happy.]

What are you working on now that has you excited?
Oh so much good stuff. There’s a work of history called For Adam’s Sake, slated for next spring, which reads like Downton Abbey set in 17th century Connecticut. There’s a beautiful, crushing memoir coming next April called My Foreign Cities, about a young couple who, due to illness, have to live their whole marriage in the ten years they know they’ll have together. And a truly fabulous novel called The Last Summer of the Camperdowns about a young girl, a long summer, and a big secret. [Spoiler: she has cooties?] It’s the perfect summer book: “That dear old house. If there is a heaven, I will spend eternity on the back porch, sipping ice tea and eating radish and mayonnaise sandwiches, listening to the birds chirp, watching the mulberries ripen, hearing the waves roll in, reading Sun Tzu when my father is looking; Trixie Belden when he isn’t.” I have the best job in the world. [And cooties.]

You’re married to an editor. Tell the truth: are you better?
It really depends on what you mean by better. I’m definitely more emotional/obsessive about work (and everything), which can drive my authors crazy or make them feel like centers of the universe. But my brilliant husband is utterly unflappable, a crucial piece of the job for which I’m still searching. Also, when we took a sample Wonderlic test (given to college athletes to determine intelligence before they turn pro) my husband scored higher. And he’s also taller. I appreciate this question because it gets at the goal of marriage, which is to determine a winner and a loser. [Exactly.  We're sure you're aware that the Liz and Gianna battle for supremacy rages on.]

Liz or Gianna?
Liz picked Galore as her favorite book of 2011. For that, Liz would also win against either or both of my parents. [Excellent.  And the answer, of course, is always Liz.]

Gilda?  She's a bitch.  How could one NOT choose Zorro?

Liz’s cat Zorro or Gianna’s dog Gilda?
Gilda! Cats are too judgmental. [...You're dead to me (liz).  Unless you send brownies.]

What are your biggest grammatical pet peeves? And what’s your position on the Oxford comma?
Your/you’re. Its/it’s. Two complete sentences joined by “and” but no punctuation. YES to the Oxford comma. Long may it reign. It’s one thing to cast aside these rules in an email, but in your manuscript…for heaven’s sake! [Most of our emails disregard all punctuation and are typed as abbreviations...like "TWSS" for "That's what she said.  Most of our email correspondence is a violation of multiple codes of conduct.  Or involves poop.]

Will you edit Liz and Gianna: A Joint Memoir? We guarantee nudity and violence.

Liveright published this book.
I think it's about a dump
or something.

Only if the book jacket can look like the movie posters for Face/Off. [Absolutely!  GIANNA IS JUST LIKE JOHN TRAVOLTA...or rather, just like his masseur.  She confessed that if Travolta offered her $400, she'd make him a regular client.  She's classy like that.  Also the Face/Off cover would be ideal since we look so much alike.]

Tell us about Liveright, the new line at Norton.
Liveright is the rebirth of one of the great names in publishing. Boni & Liveright (later just Liveright) had a remarkable heyday in the 1920s and 30s. Led by boozy, chorus-girl chasing, literary savant-whisperer Horace Liveright, they published a remarkable array of stars including T.S. Eliot, Anita Loos, Theodore Dreiser, Dorothy Parker, Hart Crane, early Hemingway, early Faulkner etc etc etc. W.W. Norton bought it decades ago and decided to re-launch it this year in order to bring back some of the Liveright classics (books like My Life by Isadora Duncan and The Theater of E.E. Cummings) and to recognize and further draw upon the talents of my amazing boss – a legend in his own right – Bob Weil. [With the Liz and Gianna memoir on the list, you'll be legendary yourself.  What is the record for fastest career-ender for an editor?  Judith Regan with the OJ Simpson book?  We can top that. Gianna's even a boozy, chorus girl.]

Thanks Katie!

(By the way--the best thing about harassing an editor?  All of her answers were spelled properly.  Gianna would never send in a blog post with such polish.)

Generally Horrible Questions: Liesl Freudenstein

The great Liesl Freudenstein

As I've perhaps mentioned, last fall I added some new states to my Book Land territory, including Colorado.  My first official act as a rep for the (What's the state slogan for Colorado? Former Land of Tebow for a Year or So State? Mile High State? Rocky Mountain State?) state involved joining my Random House colleague Michele at Boulder Bookstore for a staff presentation.  While several reps from adult publishing lines presented titles, after we finished, the children's book buyer for Boulder Bookstore stepped up and presented books for little people.  Three things struck me about Liesl Freudenstein: 1. she knows her stuff, 2. she probably would smack me if I made a Sound of Music joke about her extremely German/Austrian name, and 3. she's probably a seriously disturbed individual.  I mean that in the best way.  I thought, "Here's someone who gets the joke....or might be drunk." I'm always impressed by adults who can sell children's books and not transform into troll princesses with pink tiaras and Seussian speech patterns.  A few weeks ago I asked Liesl if she'd be willing to answer our horrible questions, and since she indeed IS a disturbed, possibly inebriated individual, she readily agreed.  So here you go, our first ever blog post dedicated to the children's section of Book Land.  I hope you've been vaccinated properly.


Generally Horrible Questions: Liesl "Von Trapp" Freudenstein

Less important: what Liesl and her hubby are reading on
their Greek vacation.  More important is what they're
drinking.  Am I right?

1.     How did you get in the book business?
I got in the book business to foil my dad's ambitions for me.  He wanted me to be an astronaut or at least a rocket scientist, but being a hard core rebel, I choose book selling.  Also, there was a bookstore down the road and I hung around so much they gave me a job.  [So...loitering and stickin' it to the man lead to bookselling.  I guess it's better than prison.  My sister is a rocket scientist, by the way.  It's overrated.]


2.     Why children’s books?  Was there a book that drove you to it (Finnegan’s Wake, perhaps?)?
I did every other job EXCEPT children's as obviously that is the SCARIEST and most DIFFICULT type of book selling and buying and it requires an expert.  Oddly, as soon as I had a child I was dubbed an instant expert and all of my shifts were in children's from then on.  When I had two children-I was dubbed an expert times two and given the buyer job.  [If this isn't an afterschool special promoting abstinence, I don't know what is.]


3.     What book(s) changed your life?
Truly I loved Mary Stewart's The Crystal Cave and Hollow Hills-my dad thinks this was the beginning of the end of my astronaut ambitions.  That and a deep mistrust of the laws of physics.  Give me magic! [Your father seems obsessed with the space program.  I can give him my sister's phone number. He'll appreciate you more afterward.]

4.     You have offspring (sorry).  What’s the best book to read aloud?  Twilight? 
Twilight does not make for a good read-aloud the dialogue is too stilted and there are too many silent longing glances.  Fortunately, my daughter is here to help me with the question.(pause for the asking of the  question...)

She votes for Redwall because it has "lots of fun accents and it's very entertaining with all of the songs and descriptions of food-it's fun to listen to mom read it."  I take that back, she can no longer help-Redwall is exceedingly difficult to read out loud--too many accents,  so many lengthy  picnics plus there is poetry and singing too.  [Sometimes Gianna reads me passages from Fifty Shades of Grey. That book is awesome for the tweens!]

5.     Seriously, how much do you love Twilight? 

I have never read Twilight....am I disqualified now? [Our love for you is undying.]

6.     What children’s book should everyone give their kids but has slipped under the radar?

We (previously mentioned daughter & I) think Ottoline and the Yellow Cat by Chris Riddell is brilliant. Whimsical, half graphic, and a mystery to boot.  I also think that every child should have a copy of When Dinosaurs Came With Everything by Elise Broach.  Not as much teen angst as Twilight, but the look on the mother's face when the baker gives her son a real dinosaur is way better than anything Bella could express. [Wait--Bella has expressions?]


7.     What’s the last adult book you read?  (Twilight is not an adult book.)
I just finished Karin Slaughter's new book--'cause when I'm not reading about teen drug use, depression, identity crisis, and the end of the world, I like to read about serial killers. [This answer is damn near perfect in every way.]


8.     As the first children’s book specialist featured on this blog, is today the greatest day of your life?
Today is truly the best day of my life--I hope it's as good for you as it is for me....oh, except for that time I was interviewed by Erin Zlotnik for her blog-she was my first. [You didn't save yourself for us?  Insert follow-up abstinence comment here.]

9.     Liz or Gianna?
I don't know Gianna, so I'm wondering what she's like.  [Gianna says she can be whatever you want her to be.  However, the correct answer is ALWAYS LIZ.]

10.  Harry or Voldemort? Or that older, frumpy woman in the pink suit from the movie trailers?
Harry-at least he has a nose-too creepy without a nose.....but the snake thing is interesting.  [This is a trick question.  The correct answer is "whoever Maggie Smith plays."]

11.  Amuse us with an anecdote from the land of little people.
Are you calling me short? [Yeah, I call everybody short.]  I just had a lovely conversation with a child regarding his vast Lego collection, how many books he has (at least 500 including sticker books), and how many blocks(millions and millions), and how l should really, really get more books, because well, he "has all these" as he completely dismisses my entire Lego section with a casual wave of his hand.  Kids are like that, tellin'  it like it is.  [Um...children should be seen and not heard...or not seen and not heard.]


12.  A friend of mine makes me watch Yo Gabba Gabba with her kid.  Also, she didn’t name her son after me.  How should I handle this situation?

That's tough!  I would offer to babysit, then give him a recording of the Barney song, play it until he has it memorized then send him home with it.  [I'm pretty sure that I'm not legally permitted to babysit anymore, but I like the way you think.]


13.  What’s your latest book love?
I am very excited for The Girl Who Fell Beneath Fairyland and Led the Revels There-by Catherynne Valente.  I loved the first book The Girl Who Circumnavigated Fairyland in a Ship of Her Own Makingvery much; it has a great voice capturing what makes books like Peter Panand Alice in Wonderland so wonderful.  A mix of dreamworlds and childhood  and unexpected complications--just like growing up. Plus it's an awesome title.  I also love a whole box of RH books I just received from Erin...I haven't opened it yet--I'm waiting for privacy--but there are bound to be some really awesome books in it like a kid's version of 50 Shades of Grey-maybe 25 Helpings of Mudpies?  [We are now searching the Urban Dictionary for the definition of "mudpie."....Yikes.  There are eight definitions and we aren't bold enough to put any of them on here. Definition #9 would be "cause for termination."]

Wheeeeeeeeeeee!!!

Thanks Liesl!  You do Children's Book Land proud.

Generally Horrible Questions: Karen Hayes

Our pal Karen Hayes (left) and her business partner,
author Ann Patchett.

Karen Hayes is the slightly less famous co-owner of the new bookstore in Nashville, Parnassus Books.  (The other owner is some author named Ann Patchett.)  Karen has long been involved in the book business and worked with us at Random House, but she's new to the other side of bookselling--the part where you run the bookstore and help the customers.  Since Karen is a woman business owner and we're saluting the dames for the rest of March, we asked her to answer our questions.

Generally Horrible Questions: Karen Hayes

1. We are pretty sure the following musicians/singers have some connection to Nashville…pick your favorite (we think we know who you will pick it rhymes with Hiley Byrus). Black Keys, Johnny Cash, Steve Earle, Emmylou Harris, Ke$ha, Dolly Parton, Miley Cyrus, Dwight Yoakam, Jack White, Earl Scruggs, Taylor Swift or… Donna Summer?

It is so hard to choose!  I guess it would have to be Ke$ha, cause you know I’m all about the $.  That’s why I’m in the book biz.  [Finally someone comes clean about all the money floating around the book business!  Apparently it's all in Tennessee....road trip!]

A busy day at Parnassus Books

2. Your business partner is Ann Patchett, so you sure as hell better have read all her books. What’s your favorite? It’s okay, she doesn’t read this blog…be honest.

Thank god she won’t be reading this, because I haven’t, as of yet, read all her books.  Please don’t tell her.  I love State of Wonder (and no, it is not the only one of hers I’ve read).  [Gianna has read nearly all her books and Truth and Beauty is her favorite. Liz's favorite is Bel Canto...not that anyone asked.]

3. As you may know, Liz and I are starting a band which Dan Chaon has named The Uncircumcised Girls. We want to debut in Nashville. What is the coolest venue in town?

Parnassus.  We can set you up.  But you must bring Dan Chaon with you. [Of course he will come with…he’s our roadie!]

A brownie troop visiting the store.

4. We are looking for that book…it was on TV last week (I can’t remember what show)…it’s about a woman who might be sad…it’s blue, oh, and “The” is in the title. Can you find us that book?  No, but I will try. [Oh yea..its about 300 pages long, that should help.]

5. Who is your favorite person you ever got to train at Random House? Gianna, of course 

6. Author you most want to sign in your store? Is it Stephen Colbert? Because we think Ann nailed that down when she was on his show.  He would be the one.  That would be so much fun.

7. Gianna or Liz?  Liz, of course. [Obviously.]

8. I’ve never read _________________ and I’m so ashamed.  There are way too many to choose from, including the aforementioned books by Ann Patchett.  [We are starting to think that Karen hasn’t read ANY Ann Patchett books and she is desperate to cover her tracks….]

9. What book(s) changed your life?  There are many books that have altered my perceptions, but the only book I can say that truly has changed my life would be State of Wonder.  The change came, not through the reading of the book, but through the timing of the publication.  Ann’s tour for the book gave her the platform to talk about the store (and independent bookstores in general).  I’m sure the store would have been a successful local bookstore if Ann had been in between books, but it would never have gotten such national attention.

10. How’d you end up owning a bookstore with Ann Patchett?  When/where did you first meet her?  We had met very briefly earlier, but the first time we really talked was April last year.  I sat down to lunch with her and a mutual friend of ours to present an idea I had to get a bookstore coop started.  I was hoping that she would join with some other friends and interested parties to help with the fundraising.  She said she was not too fond of committees and that maybe we should just do the whole thing ourselves.  I said alright. [Committees are awesome! They are simply the best way to not get things done.]

11. In honor of Women’s History Month, who’s your favorite ballsy dame?  I think you could probably guess who it is.  Hint, she is the only person I’ve seen stop Colbert in his tracks twice in one interview. [It's obvious you’re talking about Bill O’Reilly and we think YOU'RE ballsy for calling him a dame.]

12. What are you currently reading?  The Hunger Games.  My book group is reading it. [...Never heard of it.]  What upcoming book has you giddy with excitement?  I’m excited about The Unexpected Guests which has the best handle of the year from my Harper Rep, Kate McCune…Downton Abbey meets Edward Gorey.  [Dammit Karen! Would it kill you to at least once mention a Random House book, or god forbid a UT Press book? You're lucky our bosses don’t read this blog!]

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Generally Horrible Questions: Karen Valby

Karen Valby is a senior writer for Entertainment Weekly and the author of one of our favorite books, Welcome to Utopia, that is new in paperback.  Perhaps because Gianna no doubt is blackmailing her, Karen has graciously answered our horrible questions.  And since she's in the entertainment journalism business, Gianna was in hog heaven asking lots of pop culture questions.  So here you go, some generally horrible questions for one of our favorites,

We love Melissa McCarthy

Karen Valby


1. Don’t be shy…give us your Oscar predictions.
First of all, I should say that I'm going to be watching this year's Oscars at the Oakwood furnished apartment complex in Burbank with close to 100 child actors. True story. That said, I haven't seen movies like The Artist and The Iron Lady, as now that I'm a mother I find myself only having the emotional reserves to see films like Footloose and New Year's Eve, only one of which was a disgrace. That said, I did see The Descendants and quite liked it. Same with Hugo. I want Viola Davis to make me cry in her acceptance speech. What I would give for Melissa McCarthy to take home an Oscar, but I'll be pleased to see it go to her good pal Octavia Spencer instead. [We think this may be the best answer we’ve ever gotten on any question...its loaded with excellent things.]

Viola Davis

2. Best book to movie ever is…
The Black Stallion. To Kill a Mockingbird. Winter's Bone. The Hunger Games. [An obvious ploy to get Gianna and Liz to read The Hunger Games. Not gonna happen.]

Melissa Gilbert

3. One of our favorite articles you wrote for Entertainment Weekly was the interview you did with Melissa McCarthy. It made us wonder which other Melissa you may love. Melissa Joan Hart, Melissa Etheridge, Melissa Gilbert, Melissa Leo, or of course…Melissa Rivers? Take your time we know this is tough.
(I'm betting good money that Gianna came up with this question and was halfway through a bottle of pinot when doing so. I also picture her being quite pleased with herself.) I'm going to go with Melissa Gilbert because a) half-pint and b) she used to be married to Bruce Boxleitner, a big childhood crush of mine. Scarecrow! Other childhood crushes: the young, black-haired George Bailey from It's a Wonderful Life, Scott Baio circa Joanie Loves Chaachi, the bad guys in Sweet Valley High, Italians. [You don’t know me Valby!!]

4. Favorite Housewife? – this question is dedicated to our friend Colleen.
Colleen, this conversation deserves a tasting menu dinner's worth of a conversation. I'm going to pick three in the meantime: Obviously Lisa Vanderpumpkin. Season 4 Atlanta's Phaedra Parks. And that dipsy doodle Sonja Morgan from New York. What do I wish more for my daughter by the way? That she not become a Real Housewife or that she not grow up to watch and write about them for a living? [We don’t know what any of this means but we hope Colleen enjoys it.]

This is Randy (with Ms. Lupone).
He's no Liz.

5. Liz or Gianna?
Randy Ham. [This is total b.s. Even Gianna knows the answer is always Liz! Ham is going to get an ass kicking…Italian style! In other words I will send someone else to do it.]

6. Book that changed your life?
This question feels cruel. So vulnerable-making, so much pressure! But I'll say Are You There God, It's Me Margaret? because it made growing up sound both terrifying and kind of fun-sexy. [This is an obvious ploy to get Liz to read Are you There God--not gonna happen.]

7. I’ve never read ____ and I am so ashamed.
Any Don DeLillo.

8. Coolest person you’ve ever met?

Slash.  Badass.

Hands down, Slash. I went on tour with his (pretty lousy) band Velvet Revolver for a week a couple of years ago. One night he brought me to the Hustler bus with him after a show. Those ladies were really impressed by my turtleneck and brown corduroy! Afterwards he took my hand to help me down the steps and we went and got ripped at a sports bar in Cincinnati. At closing time he went in the back to get high with the fry cook and then picked out a last song on the jukebox. U2's "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For!" The next day at the airport the tour manager said the plane was short one first-class ticket. Well, of course that whiny pants Scott Weiland looked like he was about to pitch a fit and the creepy drummer wasn't going to fly with the riff raff. Duff's pancreas hurt so Slash volunteered to take the coach seat as long as he didn't have to check his guitar. He sat happily in the back row, his hair flattened against the window, and read a sci fi paperback. I love that guy. [Gianna didn’t read past the part where you went on the Hustler bus.]

9. I have read ____ and I am so ashamed.
Rob Lowe's memoir. [We heard that DeLillo pales in comparision]

Chris Hoyt, BookPeople cutie.

10. What are you reading now?
Ernie Cline's Ready Player One. Fun! [We approve.]

11. Liz and Gianna are going to start filming a reality show. Should we pull each other’s hair in the first episode or wait until sweeps week?
You need a love triangle, so I'd bring that BookPeople cutie Christopher Hoyt on board. [Gianna: We will have to buy a ladder so Chris and I can kiss Liz.  Liz: I resent this comment. For one thing, Chris is tall. Don't bring your short woman issues to this party.]

Karen Valby.  Good sport.

12. A Book and a movie we should read/see right away?
We should all stay in tonight and rent Moonstruck. And then we should fall asleep rereading Brady Udall's enormous-hearted The Miracle Life of Edgar Mint. [This book happens to contain one of Gianna’s favorite opening lines: "If I could tell you only one thing about my life it would be this: when I was seven years old the mailman ran over my head.”]

Thanks Karen!  We'll understand if you try to distance yourself from us.

Generally Horrible Questions: Jeremy Ellis

Jeremy at the Tadao Ando-designed museum in Ft. Worth.
The man appreciates art and design.

Jeremy Ellis is the new(ish) manager at Brazos Bookstore in Houston, Texas.  He started the job in August, but has been working in bookstores off and on for most of his career.  We decided that the best form of hazing is to submit him to our list of questions.  Welcome to the neighborhood, Jeremy!

Generally Horrible Questions: Jeremy Ellis

1. How did you get into the bookselling business?
It was completely accidental. I was 22, out-of-work, and there was a bookstore at a mall I liked. I thought I would do it for awhile and then, eventually, find my calling. Since that job, I've only had brief interruptions from independent bookstore jobs. [Just when I thought I was out....they pull me back in?  Watch out for horse heads in your sheets, there, Jeremy.]

Brazos Bookstore

2. What's the best experience you've had working at the bookstore?
It's hard to pick just one experience. But I guess I could choose one per gig. As a bookseller at Taylor's Books in Dallas, meeting Anne Perry the day after seeing the Peter Jackson film 'Heavenly Creatures' which details the true story of Anne's early life as a killer. As a bookseller at Trudy's Fireside Books, author and illustrator David Small handselling me Rule of the Bone by Russell Banks. As the event guy at BookPeople, hosting David Sedaris during his Me Talk Pretty One Day tour. As Marketing Director at BookPeople, my proudest moment was when the original 'This is My Favorite Book' was picked up by independent bookstores nationwide as the model holiday catalog. At Legacy Books and A Real Bookstore in Dallas, developing their websites. And now, at Brazos, my best days are those where I get to really talk to customers and help them find the book they didn't know they urgently needed. 

3. What book(s) changed your life?

I've read plays for years and years and they really have had the most visceral impact on my life. Both parts of Tony Kushner's Angels in America radically changed the ways in which I thought about myself and America. I think Arcadiaby Tom Stoppard is one of the most perfect pieces of literature of the 20th century. I return to the short plays of Samuel Beckett time and time again for their optimistic outlook. [Gianna's scared of thespians....]

4. What are you currently reading?
I just finished Canada by Richard Ford. It is one of the best novels I've ever read. Also just finished Jeanette Winterson's memoir, Why Be Happy When You Can Be Normal?. It is a remarkable book. I'm very excited to get into Beautiful Ruins by Jess Walter Scott, but top of the stack, demanding immediate attention is What We Talk About When We Talk About Anne Frank by Nathan Englander. [Damn straight. We will expect a book report about the Nathan Englander book next week.]

This one should
be on everyone's
reading list right now.

5. What's your #1 pick for reading groups?

Nausea by Jean Paul Sartre. I'm not usually allowed to lead reading groups.

6. Would you rather....David Mitchell, David Foster Wallace, David Sedaris
First, David Sedaris, because he makes me laugh.
Second, David Mitchell, because he makes me dream.
Third, David Foster Waller, because he makes me hurt.

[Fourth, David Arquette, because he makes you gag?]

7. What's the biggest lie ever told by a sales rep?
Nicholas Sparks was a passing trend.

8. What's your second favorite bookstore?
BookPeople

9. Gianna or Liz?

I love them equally for different reasons. I will never specify what these reasons are, lest Liz sick Zorro on me. [REALLY?  Why must we keep repeating this?  The correct answer is ALWAYS Liz.  Always.  Because Liz is the one who posts the stuff on the blog and she says so.]

10. The most depressing book you've ever read?

Jeremy (right) and his brother in
front of Brazos.

She's Come Undone by Wally Lamb was a downer, but I really enjoyed it. This was Oprah's second book club choice. I read it reluctantly, but ended up really loving it.

11. I've never read ____________.  And I'm so ashamed.

Any of the Harry Potter books. I'm not that ashamed.

12. Celebrity Memoir (Death is not an option): Snooki, Justin Bieber, Paris Hilton, Kardashian Konfidential.

Justin Bieber. On the day he begins his public meltdown, I'll be able to pull factoids about his life out and say I saw it coming all along. And that hair... (Of course, I'm mesmerized by Snooki's mustache as well.)

13. Dumbest question ever asked by a customer?
Q: I see your fiction section. Where do you keep your non-fiction books?
A: Everywhere that isn't our fiction section.

14. I wanted to be a ___________ when I grew up.
A Broadway musical theatre star. Get a glass or two of wine in me, and I can't stop singing show tunes.

15. ________________ is my favorite book ever.
Too hard... Different eras of my life have had different favorites. During my late teens and early twenties it was Less Than Zero by Bret Easton Ellis. But then I met him, and he was kind of a jerk to me, and my youthful angst was receding. Anymore, I don't really have a single title that is my Number One. I love books for their individual ambitions and successes. [Are you just scared to say Twilight?  It's okay.  We'll eventually forgive you.]