Generally Horrible Questions: Dan Chaon

Dan Chaon

One of our favorite authors, Dan Chaon, has a terrific new short story collection called Stay Awake going on sale in a few weeks.  Gianna reviewed it here.  We had the privilege of meeting Dan when he was touring Texas for his last book, Await Your Reply, and yet for some reason even after meeting us, Dan agreed to answer our questions.  Luckily Dan is the type of guy who, you know, appreciates the twisted.  In addition to being one of the best writers working, he's a huge music fan and teaches at Oberlin.  He's far too cool to be contributing to our blog, but we're grateful for his slumming.


Generally Horrible Questions: Dan Chaon


1. What author or book should we all be reading?

Lint by Chris Ware. Most mind-blowing book of 2011, hands down.


2. What book have you re-read more than any other?
Probably The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson, closely followed by Lolita by Vladamir Nabokov and The Hobbit by JRR Tolkien (though I haven’t actually read The Hobbit in about 30 years. Maybe now that the movie is coming out I should revisit it?)


3. Favorite three bands? 

Idaho; Modest Mouse; Arcade Fire. (At least right now.) All time favorite artists: Tom Waits, David Bowie, Rickie Lee Jones.


4. I have never read ________ and I am so ashamed
Remembrance of Things Past, by Marcel Proust. (I’ve read the famous Madeline passage, but nothing else.)


5. What do you tell your writing students to never do, but sometimes do yourself?

The great Borges...
not a spring chicken even
in 1951, when this was taken.

Despair.


6. Gianna or Liz?
There’s no way to answer this question. It’s like “Cake or Ice Cream?” [Our two favorite food groups! We also assume Liz is the ice cream due to her cold nature.  Also, Liz is always the correct answer.]


7. Coolest writer you’ve ever met?
Jorge Luis Borges [We are incredibly impressed.  Of course, we can't call him to verify....]


8. I have read ____ and I am so ashamed

Dude, all things must end, but we're
sorry for blowing it.

“Lostpedia—the Lost Encyclopedia” in its entirety; as well as “Bad Twin” by Gary Troup; as well as Doc Jensen’s “Lost” blog for Entertainment Weekly. I was a huge fan of the TV show “Lost” and I still feel very betrayed and bitter about how they screwed it up. I know it’s been a long time since it mattered, but it still galls me. [We feel as if we opened a huge can of worms here. Apologies.]


9. Your last name is pronounced “Shawn” which made us wonder who your favorite Shawn is. Sean Penn, Sean Combs, Shawn Carter (Jay Z to the unhip), Sean Connery, Shawn Colvin, Shawn who sat next to Liz is high school calculus, or Shaun of the Dead?

Gianna's favorite book
of 2010.

What about Sean Bean? He’s maybe my favorite Sean of the moment. But if I have to choose from your list, Shawn Colvin would be fine. As for the rest of your group…if they changed the spelling to Chaon, we could talk. “Chaon Combs:” that would be awesome. [...Or we could call you Dan Diddy?  No?]


By the way, if you do a Twitter search for “Chaon” you will find that it is an Urban Dictionary type slang word. People say that something is “off the chaon!” And that means that it is cool and funky. Right on! [We think this is going to take off way beyond Twitter, for chaon.]


10. Can you name five things creepier than twins (Liz is a twin, so think creepier)?
a. Rick Perry;
b. vegetable drawer full of forgotten potatoes that have begun to sprout tiny human eyes and fingers;
c. The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, esp. Taylor; [This makes us worry for our Dan that he can name a wife…worry and love that is.]
d. the corpse of your dead grandma, somehow animated, somehow alive, rotting and crouched in your closet, a sick smell that wafts over you when you are sleeping and then you open your eyes in the dark and you can hear her breathing, wetly chewing on something with her toothless mouth, and you try to convince yourself: Grandma loved me. Grandma wouldn’t hurt me. This is not real.
e. That awful thing that is constantly staring at the back of your head but when you turn around it’s not visible.


11. What's the strangest or most awkward thing to happen to you on book tour (bonus points if you admit it was meeting Gianna and Liz)?
I don’t remember anything awkward happening when we met, Gianna and Liz. I thought we had a nice time together. Didn’t we? [Clearly Dan didn’t notice Gianna nearly going in for a kiss.]

Look for Dan's newest story
collection in stores in February.

Usually the most awkward moments on book tour have to do with no one showing up to a reading, and having to face the bookstore employees afterwards. Sitting in silence. Listening as the front door is locked and the “closed” sign is put over the door. Signing stock so they can’t return it to the publisher. That one hipster employee, straight out of Middlebury or Oberlin or Swarthmore, that guy who obviously loathes you and who has been spending his days trying to handsell Henry Miller novels, clears his throat and looks at you reproachfully and judgmentally.


Not that this has happened to me, mind you. There are always crowds upon crowds at my bookstore appearances.


12. Liz and I are starting a band; can you suggest a few names?
Cocoa Ono
Craniopagus Parasiticus!
Mamas Who Let Their Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys
The Uncircumcised Girls [Clear winner…Dan must have a real sense of what our band will be like.]


Thanks Dan!  You're the chaon!

Stay Awake by Dan Chaon

(Gianna)

When I left Random House last year to become sales manager at UT, I failed to give enough thought to one important thing: I wouldn’t be selling Dan Chaon books any longer. [She was mostly focused on getting away from me as fast as possible.  Sigh.] I wouldn’t have an excuse to talk about his story collections Fitting Ends and Among the Missing, or his novels You Remind Me of Me and my favorite book of 2010, Await Your Reply. I mean, I think what I put you poor booksellers through for the past few years, you had to sit there and listen to me again and again talk about Chaon. Frankly I am surprised that no one grabbed me by the shoulders (who am I kidding? the hair) and shook the hell out of me until I shut up. [It's not too late....]

Guess what? It’s not too late. [See? Even she admits it!] Chaon is back with an outstanding collection called Stay Awake (Feb 2012). Fasten your seat belts; I have decided to unofficially sell the hell out of this new book as well. Stay Awake is a reminder of why I was drawn to Chaon in the first place: he is a master of the short story.  You think you don’t like short stories, by the way? This collection can change your mind in the same way Lorrie Moore’s Birds of America brought so many fans to read stores for the first time.

Remember how anxiety-ridden you were with Await Your Reply? Well get that Xanax refill because Stay Awake is haunting. One of my favorite stories is "Bees," in which a father’s life begins to spiral out of control with the onset of his child’s night terrors, and now his own inability to continue to repress the memories of his secret first wife and child that he abandoned so long ago. This story is riveting.

My favorite selection is the title story, "Stay Awake." A young couple gives birth to a baby who has a parasitic twin.  I have long been fascinated by this incredibly rare medical condition (I believe there have been less than a dozen cases) and I have not been able to get the images of this story out of my head. At once heartbreaking and creepy, you won’t be able to shake this story for days. [Twins are creepy!...says the twin.]

If you are a fan of Joyce Carol Oates this book is for you. 

30 More Days Book Challenge: Day 12

Day 12: Books That, in a Perfect World, Would Be Bestsellers

Gianna:

Generally speaking, if I love a book, I mean go nutty over it, the book is doomed to not make it very high up or at all on a major bestseller list. The odds are not good. The last book I had right was The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot. For the most part my picks don’t become blockbusters. I don’t get angry anymore; I really have made peace with it (not really I just I take medication now). What I have stopped doing is declaring to the world that books are going to be huge bestsellers, or that a book is going to win every major award and change your life. Well I have almost stopped doing that.

In an effort to not repeat too much I won't pick books that I have already written about, but I will say that why Await Your Reply by Dan Chaon wasn’t a number one bestseller is beyond me. And why people can not just fall in line and read Gail Caldwell’s A Strong West Wind so they can bask in her artistry makes me nutty. Okay now that I have started…. was Lying Awake by Mark Salzman a bestseller? [Yes, and most deservedly so.] It should have been. Oh, and that book I wrote about a few days ago Nine Minutes, Twenty Seconds…oh man total bestseller had that not been released on 9/11/01! Horrible timing for that book. Do I sound too bossy and a tad angry? Who wants to date me? [...No one?] I also decided not to pick a book that won a major award because…isn’t that better than a bestseller list?

I am going to go back a few years for this book, oh and for sure I shot my mouth about how it was going to be a huge bestseller.  [You?  Flap your gums?  Never!] And while I think it did well…it just didn’t do what I thought. I am talking about Max Berry’s hilarious near future tale called Jennifer Government (published 2003).

In the near future the world is run by corporations (like that would ever happen) and employees take the name of the company you work for. Liz would be Lizzy Random House and I would be Gianna University of Texas Press (mine is almost long enough to sound royal!). So obviously Jennifer works for the government. The police are now a publicly traded security firm, so if you want a crime investigated, you have to pay them (oh, taxes are now illegal).

A guy named Hack Nike works in merchandising but is pretty low on the totem pole at work, so when his bosses John Nike and John Nike offer him a contract, a raise so to speak, he signs without reading it. He later finds out his contract involves murder to build up street cred for Nike’s new line of $2,500 sneakers. The idea is that if someone is murdered for the shoes they will be all the rage. Marketing baby. [If I kill Gianna over a book, will it be a bestseller?  Hmmm....] So Hack goes to the police and they assume he wants to subcontract the deal so they lease it to the NRA (also now a publicly traded security firm). Pretty soon Hack is being pursued by Jennifer Government who is a consumer watchdog and who takes her job very seriously (Jennifer, by the way, has a tattoo of a barcode under her eye – which you will see on the book’s cover).

So Jennifer Government is my pick for a book that should have been a bestseller. I loved it. Very smart, so very funny, and a little creepy. If this book were a tall man it would be perfect for Liz! [Hell yes.  And check out Max Barry's latest release, Machine Man.  Barry is uber-talented and cool.]

Liz:

What does it take to make the bestseller lists?  Commercial appeal helps, and an unusual premise, and marketing.  Word of mouth.  Controversy.  Take, for example, American Psycho.  This book was a huge bestseller and still a popular read 20 years later.  Then there's my pick for this category.

Dirty Weekend by Helen Zahavi was written as a response to the gender violence presented as entertainment in American Psycho.  It's a novel of role reversals.  It's violent, controversial, darkly funny, commercial...and it's not even in print any more. 

I admit that I had a tough time with Dirty Weekend.  The first time I read it was for my contemporary gothic literature class in college, and I threw my book across my dorm room four times in the first thirty pages.  It disturbed and angered me....and then it turned a corner.  The book follows the main character, a timid woman named Bella, as she becomes the focus of a stalker.  Bella is the consummate victim, waiting for a violent fate (hence my frustration).  And then one day Bella has enough.  Like Patrick Bateman in American Psycho, she develops her own way of lashing out at a culture, and Bella finds her inner strength through killing...men who degrade her.  It's sort of awesome, actually.  It's a shame that this book isn't even available in the US for purchase.

30 Day Book Challenge: Day 27

Day 27: Favorite Fiction Book

Gianna:

In my quest not to repeat, I won’t pick O’Connor or Toni Morrison here (but forced to pick I would have to say that Beloved is my favorite novel; we will stretch the meaning of this question as always). Too many great books to really pick, so I again thought of something I couldn’t let go of in recent memory.  I came up with Dan Chaon’s Await Your Reply. I still get a bit giddy when I get to talk about this book. It is so delicious, beginning to end, that it makes me sad that I will never get to read it again for the first time. It is a book that at the end you say “son of a bitch!” and then if you are anything like me, you start backtracking. In a word, the novel is about identity, but it is oh so…chilling. Here are the first few lines, and if you can move on with your life without wanting to read more…well…I don’t know if Liz wants to be friends with you.  [In general I probably don't want to be friends with you, but I do love this book too.]

We are on our way to the hospital, Ryan’s father says.

Listen to me, Son:

You are not going to bleed to death.

Ryan is still aware enough that his father’s words come in through the edges, like sunlight on the borders of a window shade. His eyes are shut tight and his body is shaking and he is trying to hold up his left arm, to keep it elevated. We are on our way to the hospital, his father says, and Ryan’s teeth are chattering, he clenches and unclenches them, and a series of wavering colored lights – greens, indigos – plays along the surface of his closed eyelids.

On he seat beside him, in between him and his father, Ryan’s severed hand is resting on a bed of ice in an eight-quart Styrofoam cooler.

The hand weighs less than a pound. The nails are trimmed and there are calluses on the tips of the fingers from guitar playing. The skin is now bluish in color.

This is about three A.M. on a Thursday morning in May in rural Michigan. Ryan doesn’t have any idea how far away the hospital might be but he repeats with his father we are on the way to the hospital we are on the way to the hospital and he wants to believe so badly that it’s true, that it’s not just one of those things that you tell people to keep them calm. But he’s not sure. Gazing out all he can see is the night trees leaning over the road, the car pursuing its pool of headlight, and darkness, no towns, no buildings ahead, darkness, road, moon.

So yeah….Await Your Reply by Dan Chaon is my favorite fiction book of 2009 and certainly makes the list of all time.

Liz:

Listen. Allow me to be your god.  Let me take you on a journey beyond imagining.  Let me tell you a story.

As I read the opening lines of The Hakawati by Rabih Alameddine I knew I would be in the assured hands of a master storyteller, and I knew that this novel would hold a special spot among the many great books I've read.  "Hakawati" means storyteller, the traditional storyteller who, like Scheherazade, spins stories ending with a cliff hanger each day to lure back listeners, and Alameddine's book is a splendid weaving together of multiple tales and the history of a modern Lebanese family.  Here are tales of the Arabian Nights and genies and great warriors and cunning princesses given a modern flavor as they relate to the story of a young man returning to his native Beirut to help with his dying father.  Here are stories of the wars in Lebanon and the great pigeon wars that take place over the buildings of Beirut and of princes and demons and magic carpets.  I was mesmerized.

I had really just started at Random House when I read The Hakawati, with the company only about a year.  I had stumbled across Rabih Alameddine's earlier novel, I, the Divine years earlier when I was a bookseller and loved it (that book is the story of a woman's life told through her multiple attempts to write her autobiography but she only ever writes the first chapter), so when I learned that Knopf would publish his new novel I dove right in.  The Hakawati was my favorite book I read that year, one of my desert island book picks, and the book that helped me realize what the most rewarding part of my job of a sales rep is.  I have the power to discover incredible books and then spread that love to the right booksellers.  The pleasure of working with the books I most love makes my job, for all of the frustration I sometimes feel, magical.  Booksellers at BookPeople in Austin, Brazos Bookstore in Houston, and Lemuria Books in Jackson, Mississippi, in particular, all shared my passion for The Hakawati, and through their efforts numerous readers across my territory discovered themselves the genius of The Hakawati.

Can You Sign It As "Liz, Will You Marry Me?"

Texas Book Festival 2009! A couple of weeks ago I rose at an unholy hour to drive the three hours to Austin in order to attend the annual Texas Book Festival, held every year on the Capitol grounds. I have a love/hate relationship with the Book Fest, going back to its creator (Laura Bush; sorry, not a fan) and the days when I worked it with a bookstore in the tents and it was invariably rainy, freezing, alternately stifling hot, and my favorite, tornadic. I also would prefer that the Texas organization chose to support Texas businesses in their book sales. Nonetheless, Texas Book Fest hosted over 200 authors this year, including some of my all time favorites. I've skipped the event in years past, but this year two of the four "If I Lived Near You, You'd Issue a Restraining Your On Me" authors were in attendance. I would have hit the road any hour hour to bask in their awesomeness.

I arrived at the Capitol at 9:50 am, just in time to hear Richard Russo kick off the festival by reading from his terrific novel THAT OLD CAPE MAGIC. Russo's event was large enough that the organizers had placed him in the sanctuary of the Methodist church that's next to the Capitol. The place was packed. I was supposed to meet my boss Valerie there, but there was no way I would find her in the crowd, so I took a seat in the back (close to the door in case my presence in a holy place peeved a heavenly entity into some divine retribution lightning strikes). Russo took the pulpit after a brief introduction and kicked off his reading with an apology; his selected reading contained choice words normally not uttered in a House of the Lord. Words that I would use...and one of the reasons I'm not a minister. Or nun. Anyway, he was great--hilarious, charming, a strong reader, and he held the crowd for a full hour as he read of the travails of a son negotiating his divorced college professor parents' strained relationships. If you haven't read this book, find it and buy it and read it. It's classic Russo--humane, funny, poignant--but at a third the page count of some of his tomes. This book is my rare exception to my "I hate beach chairs on book jackets" tenet.

After the Russo event, still unavailable to locate Valerie, I instead found Gianna in the bowels of the Capitol building, where she was waiting to hear Dan Chaon, author of the amazing AWAIT YOUR REPLY (previously mentioned on this half-assed blog). Gianna and I had eaten dinner with Dan a couple of nights before, the day his book was named one of the 10 Best of the Year by Publishers Weekly (well-deserved). Dan is the antithesis of the jerkwad author; he's a delightful dinner companion and reader, and the kind of guy with whom you just want to sit around and talk books. He was part of a panel at the Book Fest, and as the room filled to capacity I relinquished my seat and set off to find my lost boss instead, leaving Gianna after a brief hello. I did find Valerie, though, and we walked through the tents of exhibitors. Unlike just about every other year, the weather was perfect and the Festival was actually festive. I ran into more friends that Saturday than I've seen since, say, the days when I was in college and saw all of my friends (and enemies) every single day. We strolled, gossiped, and then ate lunch with one of Valerie's old friends. Then Valerie said good-bye and I went off to stalk authors.

Specifically, I drove to Austin to see two people: Colson Whitehead and Margaret Atwood. Recently Gianna sent me an email asking me what my five favorite books of the 2000's were. I sent her a list and she sent me hers in return. The common thread? JOHN HENRY DAYS by Colson Whitehead. Everyone should read this book. I love it. Anyway, because lunch took awhile, I missed his reading, but like any good stalker I knew where to catch him in the signing tent and I was fourth in line, camera ready. The line attendant asked me if I'd like for the author to personalize my book. I answered, half-jokingly, "Will he write, 'Will you marry me?'" The woman laughed nervously and walked on. On the one hand, I like making people uncomfortable. On the other, I do work for his publisher and should mind my manners. When I introduced myself as his sales rep, though, he was generous and thanked me for my work on his books. He didn't propose...perhaps because I think he's already married and because he probably didn't know he was supposed to...but I still love him.

And from the wondrous Mr. Whitehead's presence, I walked down to the Paramount Theater, a few blocks from the Capitol, because if I had to maim children, I would in order to see Margaret Atwood speak. I can't think of an author I more revere. She's a tremendous writer, she's crusty and funny, and she's from Canada. I love Canada. I collect her books as a chronicle of my life--where I was and what I was doing at the times I first read them. I sometimes pretend that she's my grandma. We get along swimmingly in my imagination. And I love Canada. Anyway, I was thirty minutes early for the event and here's what I saw when I arrived: (left)
I, apparently, am not the only Atwood fan out there. The theater, once we were allowed to enter, quickly filled to capacity, and in the dark the place bubbled with anticipation. Finally, there she was. My granny, my elder Mary Poppins, practically perfect in every literary way. The format of the program was a Q & A with a moderator, Ben Moser, who happens to be the son of the manager of Brazos Bookstore in Houston. Ben, who is the books editor for Harper's, held his own versus the feisty Atwood, and both had the crowd laughing and engaged in the perils of global destruction (the cautionary tale of Atwood's latest novel, the dystopian THE YEAR OF THE FLOOD). I was enthralled. People aren't supposed to take pictures inside the Paramount, so I only took seven. Having already read and sold the book, and already a follower of Atwood's blogging and Twittering (she's a big fan of organic coffee), there wasn't a whole lot that was said that I didn't already know, except for the people who were there. I found their reactions to this author's work surprising. For example, it never even occurred to me that their aren't happy endings in Atwood's novels. She made a point of saying that none of her books is Hamlet, in which only one person is alive at the end. I guess I never read books expecting a happy ending. I consider that desire for cheery resolution a bit immature and simplistic. The real world isn't like that (or at least, my version of the world). I'm regularly surprised by readers who want happy endings. I tend to dislike books that end this way. Anyway, after the stage portion of the event, Atwood moved to the balcony area of the theater and began to sign books. I somehow managed to end up four people from the end of the line, and therefore had a ton of time to kill by talking to the other people waiting...and waiting...and waiting. We waited for almost two hours. The staff members working the event after a long day of big authors (Buzz Aldrin was at that venue before Atwood), looked like they would tackle people for a cocktail. Finally, though, I was standing next to her, talking to her, bumbling before her. And she was taking down my name for the restraining order. I'm quite convinced that Canada will confiscate my passport the next time I attempt to cross that border. I'm willing to risk Canadian jail though. Mounties are cute in those uniforms, ay?

Identity Issues

It's eerie how often Gianna and I agree on books. Considering that we barely knew each other a little over two years ago (she actually walked up to me at Book Expo several years ago before I worked for Random House and I didn't have a clue who she was until she reminded me that we'd met before), we nonetheless seem to love many of the same books. We'll have these discussions where she'll call me and ask if I've read a book that I haven't thought about in years and I'll remember that I loved that book, and it turns out that she loved it too. So when Gianna recommends that I read a book, when she's so enthusiastic that she's sputtering with delight, I KNOW that I must read that title. She doesn't steer me wrong.

Back in January we began to find out what titles Random House planned to publish for this coming fall, and it's a phenomenal list to say the least. Gianna found out that there will be a new book from Dan Chaon, so she called me to see if I had read his previous books, AMONG THE MISSING and YOU REMIND ME OF ME. Of course I had, and of course I loved them. Chaon is one of the best writers out there and in a just world he would be a literary superstar and I would read about him on my cousin's Facebook posts instead of...the gagging drivel she reads and claims is "profownd" (sic). The new book, Gianna told me, was called AWAIT YOUR REPLY. Because it was on her side of the company, and because I needed to read about 15 other books before sales conference, I refrained from diving into the new Chaon book, the dessert to my meal of books that I would actually sell myself. Gianna kept teasing me, though. She sent me the first page of the manuscript, and she constantly asked, "Have you started it yet? You need to read it. I need to talk about it. Read it, read it, read it...."



So finally I read it. Holy crap! I love this book. The early comparisons among the sales force are authors like Patricia Highsmith (Talented Mr. Ripley series) and Flannery O'Connor, and in the acknowledgements Chaon mentions writers who've inspired him such as John Fowles and Joyce Carol Oates. AWAIT YOUR REPLY contains elements of all of these masters of fiction. The novel focuses around identity and what it means to exist (or not) in this world. The opening page Gianna sent me? Let me set the scene for you. A son is cradling his arm and drifting in and out of consciousness. His father is driving the car and trying to reassure the kid that they'll make it to the hospital. And sitting between them in an ice chest is the boy's hand, cut off at the wrist. AND the boy isn't convinced that his father's even taking him to the hospital. Who doesn't want to keep reading a book that starts this way?

There are three stories swirling around each other through AWAIT YOUR REPLY, and what Gianna didn't tell me when she kept harassing me about reading the book is that one story line focuses on a set of twins. Twins are freaky and weird and a bit of an obsession for me and I'll read just about any book that features the multiples. It makes lots of sense that twins feature prominently in Chaon's book, too, since the theme is identity. Without giving away too much of the story, how do you know who you are? Say you don't have your name. Are you the same person? What if I weren't named Liz? Wouldn't I be a totally different person if I went by, say, Stephanie? I would have missed out on all of the elementary school "lizard" names. And people named Liz, in my experience, are smart asses. Nice, vapidly sweet Elizabeths are usually shortened to Beth. I am not a Beth. So twins further complicate self-identification. Here's your carbon copy(if you're identical, but to a lesser extent the same holds true for fraternals), yet you are two distinct people. At the same time, though, you cannot separate your identity from that of your twin. Twins know each other before they even meet their mother and they grow up with a mirror image of themselves against which to measure. Your life is a jumbled mess of identity politics. It's fascinating...and weird...and perfect for Chaon's book.

So, confession, I am a twin. I sometimes hate it, but I cannot imagine my life otherwise, and I hate to think of a world in which my twin no longer exists. I look at her and marvel that we're even siblings (she's an aerospace engineer) and I try to imagine what I would be like if I had followed her course in life. I still respond to her name when someone calls it because growing up people constantly confused us even though we're fraternal and she's friggin' blonde for crying out loud. More often we were just "the Sullivan twins." So I personally related to the parts of AWAIT YOUR REPLY that deal with twin brothers on different paths, seeking each other and running away. What if my twin were a hustler, or a Broadway singer, or Lindsey Lohan? Wouldn't I have a different identity if she were someone else? (The answer is yes.)

Dan Chaon is a terrific writer. I can't emphasize this point enough. This book works on so many levels--literary exploration, character study, thriller--and both Gianna and I are giddily anticipating the publication in August. AWAIT YOUR REPLY may be the best book I read this year.